Me (located in Iceland) and my friend (located in New Zealand) made the biggest sandwich of all time.
i respect all ships
no no, except that one, that’s gross and you need jesus.
i hate the phrase “life is short” because life is literally the longest thing that any of us will ever experience
unless you experience my penis
I just choked on my food.
that’s not the only thing you’ll choke on
Don’t they usually put choking hazard warnings on really small things?
Putting on makeup is such a spiritual experience I watch myself go from a 3 to a 9 right in front of my mirror I love it
no, if you are putting on makeup, I don’t care who you are or what you look like, you go from about a 10 to 1
keep talking shit you gonna go from a basic ass 2 to a 6-feet-under
"May cause sweating, peeing, and adequate hydration"
ITS A WATERBOTTLE
Aperture Science: We do what we must because we can.
Imagine spending all your time going up and down your best python friend.
Map of Disney
The Lion King
Scar + Text Posts
We all slowly become the sassy villains in disney movies and the no-shit-giving adults in disney shows.
Best Tumblr Responses
THE BEST LINE EVER SAID IN CINEMATOGRAPHIC HISTORY
HOW LONG IT TAKES TO READ THE WORLD’S MOST POPULAR BOOKS: http://shortlist.com/entertainment/books/how-long-it-takes-to-read-the-worlds-most-popular-books
My brain likes this like this.
This is almost too good.
I gotta go, I have some reading to do.